Control

I clung to wall staring at the scene in front of me. The large open space amplified the moans and thwacks coming from the participants in the middle of the room. I leaned back against the concrete cool and soothing did little to alleviate my overwhelmed senses. Closing my eyes only brought the hot smell of sweat and sex closer to me and the air seemed to reverberate as if it was being agitated in some giant blender.

I could feel how tense I was, I didn't belong here, it was too much for me. I forced my hands to unclench by my side and was just about to escape the warmth of the room when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Having fun?" Chad asked. Chad was one of the organizers of the local munch and had been the one to arrange the invitation to the play party that evening. I smiled shakily,

"I think I am going to head out."

"The night is young," he protested, "stay a bit longer." I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, I had to escape, get stabilized. I took a deep breath, ready to make my apologies and go when I felt him wrap a hand in my hair. "Just relax and breathe. You are way too tense." I breathed out in a whoosh and concentrated on my breathing for a moment.

I could see the concern on his face, he seemed to be deciding on a course of action. "Better?" he asked. I nodded and used his free hand to wipe away the moisture I hadn't realized had leaked from my eyes. "Good girl. Just relax and let me worry about what's going on around you ok?" I nodded again and he traced my jaw with his finger tips. I felt a tug on my hair and realized that he was signalling for me to kneel next to him. I hesitated and tugged again, gently, looking me in the eyes while doing so. I finally lowered my eyes and sat on the ground at his feet. He adjusted the grip in my hair and moved closer so that I could lean on his leg.

I closed my eyes again, steadying myself against him, feeling my heartrate slow and my breathing deepen. It was all right now, there was nothing to be worried about, all the scents, sounds, and sights were secondary to the feel of his hand in my hair and his leg against my body. I relaxed as people approached to chat with him.

I heard my name once or twice and tensed but a small tug on my hair reminded me of Chad's presence and his promise to worry about the activities around me. I spent the remainder of my time there, sitting next to Chad feeling his hand in my hair, or patting my head, and occasionally stroking my cheek, almost absently.

It was just what I needed; control.