Back to the bound yoga fetish....

I have been curious about being bound in yoga poses for a bit now and this photo just makes me ponder it even more....



I can do this pose but I am not sure it would be the most comfortable to be bound in...of course is that even something that would be taken into consideration?

just makes me thoughtful....

Green Eyes in Cornville

So I think I am jealous of the easy flirty ways of one of my acquaintances. I mean it is totally her nature, her aura, her role in life to be a smiley, flirty, cuddly person.

However she is also being herself with a friend of hers/ours to whom I could totally be attracted. However, when I slept with him he let it be known that he is not in any way interested in a relationship with anyone right now (which I was totally fine with). I in no way want to do anything destructive to him but it would be SO easy to start to like him, to want to date him....

So, because of this I am experiencing some jealousy....With which I am not sure how to deal.

Balance

SO I have come to the conclusion how very guarded I am at the munches and such. As I metioned yesterday I appear very confident and flirty and in charge but in reality I am totally unable to make a move. I use the bravado to hold people at arms length so they can't find out how fragile I am....

At least I recognize this in myself I suppose. But holding people at arms length makes it much harder for people to feel like they can approach me and REALLY doesn't help me radiate a sense of "touch me for I need comfort and take control of me because I desperately want that." Instead I think I give off a "I will approach you not the other way around and I will decide when and where I want touches and such."

The dilemma is that I cannot make the first move (even though I appear to be more than confident/able to do so) and so I have to wait for the first move to be made which leaves me no where...

However, when I have expressed my fragility/uncertainty etc then I have gotten treated like I am made of glass, which is the opposite problem because who wants to risk leaving a bunch of shards on the floor to clean up.

It is an issue of balance I understand this, it is just a balancing act that I have never been able to successfully pull off.

Again it isnt a NEW problem amongst people in general, I just was thinking about it tonight on the eve of my last time at my current munch for the foreseeable future....

All things Kinky....

So I made the leap and posted a shout out on the kinkster page for my soon to be new home town (formerly my college/grad school town). I got all kinds of lovely welcoming replies which is nice and actually gives me hope for being able to transfer my kinky self to the central part of the state in a positive way :)

I hung out with My Fellow Sub this evening and we had a lovely chat. I am not sure about our friendship. She appears to have some pretty bad self-esteem/self-image issues and although I do my best to provide friendliness and not therapy-ness I am always afraid that I end up slipping into therapy mode. Also she got super attached to me which isn't necessarily where I stand with her.

Apparently she totally took my nervous laughter/wittyness as confidence and ditzyness and popularity. Boy that just wowed me! I have never thought of being thought like that by anyone but she saw it as me being just another pretty girl who got all the guys!! I am kind of glad we got to talk about that honestly and I hope I was able to let her see that I do not see myself as popular or giggly at all!

We actually talked about a lot of things, mostly kink of course, but we talked about her relationship with the gentleman and what she is looking for in a significant other (she does not see the gentleman as an option and apparently he feels similarly). She didn't SAY she was envious but I could kind of hear in her voice that she is envious of the supposed fact that the gentleman actively wants to play with me and has said some negative things towards her (again the self/body image thing comes into play). I still deny being attractive to people though so >P

On a separate note, I mulled over the idea of public vs private and realize that my sense of "public" is a lot more than just, say a play party event or exhibitionism. It also includes people outside of the circle of privacy for a particular event. For example, there are only certain people with whom I discussed the details of the playdates and only a few that I would even want to know that it ocurred.....so privacy does not only mean privacy during the actual playing but also the knowledge of the event and talking about it...

I am really tired so I suppose I am just rambling at this point....

TMI- A little late but it's OK!

TMI Tuesday: August 23, 2011
by TMI Tuesday blog
Sometimes I’m so random. And THIS is one of those times…

Random stuff the universe needs to know about YOU.

1. When you go to a party, would you rather show up accidentally underdressed or overdressed?

Accidentally overdressed, who knows, you could have shown up from work!

2. What is something you have won and how did you win it? (Inspired by the An Optimistic Virgin)

I won a stadium seat cushion for knowing the name of the theme to Alfred Hitchcock Presents (Funeral March of the Marionettes)

3. Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle, end, or top?

Top until it runs out then the bottom :)

4. What is something your parents used to say to you that you promised yourself you would never say–but now you catch yourself saying frequently?

OMG there are way too many to count. One of my favorites is: don't be sorry, be better. Thanks mom!

5. What 3 lies did you regularly tell your parents? If applicable, what 3 lies do you tell your parents now?

I was hanging out with the girls, I'll get to it, I was awake

6. What is something that you intended to do today but didn’t? Why not? Will you do it tomorrow?

Oh god so much! I need to pack and deal with cable/electric companies, get in contact with my landlady soooooo much!

7. What is something that people do in traffic that really bothers you? (inspired by My Quest To Be A Good Girl)

Not using their turn signal!! Oh and when motorcyclists drive like morons then campaign for people to "see them"

8. Whose autographs have you collected? (You can stop at five, in case you’re an autograph hound or celebrity stalker).

None I think....

Bonus: Where do you go to find solitude, tranquility or connection to a higher power?

In nature, late at night in the dark, driving on dark country roads, while therapizing people :)

————-

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI- Trendy Macaroni Images

TMI Tuesday: August 16, 2011
by TMI Tuesday blog
Flashback then Fast Forward



1. What ’80s or ’90s fashion did you love but would be embarrassed to wear today, even if it came back in style?

God I can't think of one. I would say flared jeans but 1) apparently Old Navy is bringing them back and 2) I would still totally wear them!

2. What current fashion do you wear and love? Or What current fashion do you wear but probably shouldn’t?

I love love love cardigans and I am so glad there are so many cute ones available!!

3. What was your favorite toy as a kid?

Tough call I had a lot of toys that I loved I am not sure I can pick just one....

4. What is your favorite “toy” today?

My fake hitachi and my crop (which unfortunately hasn't seen too much action)

5. Did you ever own a Sony Walkman? A boombox?

I did have both at separate periods of time....

6. What’s the most played song on your mp3 player?

I have no idea, probably a Beatles song lol

7. Who was your best friend in elementary/primary school?

I didn't really have a best friend, the younger years were not too kind to me :)

8. Who is your best friend now?

Sarah probably, even though she is far away :(

9. Who was your favorite musical group in your early teens (age 13/14)? Post a photo.

Hmmmmm that is a tough one, I got into hard alternative rock around that time so maybe the Offspring?

10. Who is your favorite musical group now? Post a link to a song of theirs that you like.

Probably the Beatles (I am pretty old schoool lol)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEo9Bh679wM

Bonus: What do you think is the secret to a good life?

Recently I saw a post (actually I think I posted it on my blog here) that says that the secret to life is to resist nothing....
http://bl33dingh3art.blogspot.com/2011/08/secret-to-life-in-2-words.html

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

The Secret to Life in 2 Words

Post-Playdate Jealousy

So since I had the two playdates (1 & 2) this past week I think I have been craving another session. The fellow sub has been chatting with me about the updates of her relationship with the gentleman and I think I am feeling a little jealous that she gets regular access to outlets. Of course this is nothing new and unusual, I have had lots of jealous-type feelings before, this is just post playdate jealousy I guess. But I do not begrudge her the gentleman at all and indeed I do not know that I would pursue a "real" relationship with him as he has the sub and another playmate and I think I need to update my list of needs to "in person and regular contact/interaction."

As I have stated before it is ever evolving.

Playdate Pt 2.2

So to complete the story...

Slept in the same bed as him for the night, lots and lots of skin to skin contact (pants remained firmly in place on both parties). He was very toasty which was kind of nice but I never get a super good night's sleep when I sleep all wrapped up in someone. I am not sure if I am just not used to it, if I get too warm, or if I just can't sprawl like normal.

Anyway we wake up and he starts tormenting me again, only this time I definitely felt more of a....sexual charge maybe? Perhaps it was the being in bed part of things, perhaps it was the morning wood element that came into play, or perhaps it was just that arousing?

At some point, after being brought to twitching again, he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do to me, where of course I blanked, so I told him to blindfold me (which really I wanted the night before too but ha! hadn't mentioned it at all) and he did. Then he asked AGAIN, what I wanted him to do to me, and I blanked and the only thing I could think of was to tell him to touch me. Now in my head I am pretty sure I was asking him to touch my crotch but I was saying it in Purplese which is a very subtle language.

So he says that I have to tell him where or else he is just going to touch me where he wants. Well I donlt say anything so of course he starts grabbing/massaging/rubbing my crotch and then my pants/underwear came off. He played with the outside of me for a while, gently, tapping and massaging and that was lovely. Then he just jackhammered the shit out of my lady bits. I am not gonna lie some of the jackhammering was nice but
1) it was too intense for me
2) I got self conscious about being "a hard nut to crack" (as I had told him previously)
3) I have been having sensitive lady part issues

So I gasped at him to stop then he hugged me and held me while I just twitched and twitched and twitched. I don't remember the exact wording but I asked him some variation of "what do you want now?" and he kind of laughed and said he was hoping for some reciprocation.

He told me to lick and nibble at his neck/shoulder then move down and do the same for his nipples, one at a time, then his pants came off and I touched him. He directed me in my blowjobness which was a little nerve wracking for me because I've never been "directed" per se when doing that so I was kind of worried I wasn't doing it as well as maybe he was used to. He actually requested for an interesting technique. I made the "ok" sign with either hand and he had me wrap one around the base of him and one next to my mouth encircling the tip. He ended up totally controlling the rhythm, which was fine by me, and then he came for a looooooong time. He was very gentlemanly and warned me that there would need to be a position change if I didn't want it in my mouth, but I am ok swallowing so I did. Then he pulled me back up to him, kissed me and told me I was a good girl and I smiled and was happy.

We ended up going to lunch after that and having a nice chat before he went off to run errands and go home and the like.

I am sure that I am forgetting details of that morning because I know for a fact there was a lot more biting in lots of places (neck, stomach, breasts, thigh at one point) and other fun stuff that was a repeat of the day before but I will leave that up to your imagination :)

Playdate Pt 2.1

Why is it so hard for me to ask for what I want?



So after the initial playdate went well I was asked if I wanted to do so again. I replied in the affirmative so my fellow sub passed the word on to her male partner (same as before) and due to scheduling issues the only time we would both be in town before I move was last night. So...Wednesday night have a playdate, take Thursday off, and Friday have a second playdate (flying solo). Whew!

She asked if I wanted it to be the three of us or just myself and him and I told her it would be interesting to fly solo because of course I couldn't be greedy and say "no I'd like to see if I can handle it by myself and see what happens." So we set it up that he would come to my place after he got done w/ work and after I had arrived home from looking at places to live for my move.

He shows up around 8, we sit and chat for a bit and he begins to tickle me, similar to Wednesday, playing with the nape of my neck, my arms, my waist etc etc. I had suggested that more ropework would be fun and so he pulled out his ropes and declared a game. He would tie me up then I would have 2 minutes to attempt to get out and if I couldn't I would have to remove a piece of clothing. Now I was only dressed in 4 pieces of clothing (underwear, bra, yoga pants, t-shirt) and the pants were going to stay ON but I was game for at least two rounds.

First, he tied my arms behind my back and did something where it harnassed around my shoulders. I attempted to get out but I can't dislocate my shoulders so round 1 went to him. As he was untying my arms he suprise de-shirted me and we did a round 2. This time he started with my wrists in front of me and then pulled them over my head and created a harness that went around my hips and between my legs. Well I REALLY tried to get out of this one but alas. There went the bra.

Then he tried to make me come up with the next "consequence" for the same game and I told him "I've got nothing." In Purplese this means "I can't tell you what I want because I don't know/I want you to know/I can't force myself to say what I want." So instead, he decided to tie my feet/ankles together and try a little breast bondage (in the name of science of course) after touching/tickling/biting me while laying on my floor. So he wrapped my tits up in some rope with the goal being increased sensitivity. I do believe it worked.

Now this time, the only toys involved were rope and him and his claw/pokey finger attachments. So while I was tied up he pretty much sat on me and poked me and pinched me and bit me and scratched me and I twitched and made noises for a while.

At some point he grabbed my hair and pulled me to my feet, hauling me over to my couch and spanked me for a while. This wasn't as effective because 1) I was still wearing my yoga pants and 2) he really didn't hit me that hard. At that point the breast bondage was starting to impede my ability to be put over his knees properly so he pulled me onto his lap and undid it then held onto me while I shivered and twitched for a while. He definitely aggravated it by rubbing my back and arms and occasionally pinching my nipples to produce an especially strong twitch.

Now mind you, all of this twitching is totally involuntary. It was like when you get your knee hit with the hammer at the doctor's office and your leg jumps, only it was my legs, my hips, my back, and my head shaking at different times and different intensities.

It took me a while to "come down" from all that sensation but I eventually did and he positioned me so I was straddling him and we kissed while he pinched my nipples some more.

(I must say while he is VERY good at getting me twitchy his kissing technique leaves a little to be desired. Maybe it is because he is very aggressive in the moment? I don't know.)

Anyway, at some point I am just a twitchy mess of twitchiness and he suggests that lying down on my bed would be a better choice than trying to curl up on my admittedly small loveseat. I agree and try to stand up to walk to the bedroom (maybe 10 feet away) and stumble. Yup my body is a little drunk, but I make it and we lie there and cuddle for a good long time more. Eventually I look at the clock and it is 1230 so I ask, "Did you want to head home now or do you want to crash here, cause I don't care." He looks at the clock and figures he should probably crash here if that is ok. I assure him that it is and, after a bit, turn off the living room light and do some bathroom stuff then crawl under the sheets with him (now shirtless as well but still panted) and sleep.

This concludes Playdate Part 2 Subsection 1!

Playdate

So I had my playdate last night and it went pretty well. We ended up kind of cuddling on the couch (the three of us) and I was really tired and got kind of giggly and loopy and started talking about how I was pro-blanket and how I would vote for a blanket president and then I said that he would make "blanket policies" and started giggling and could not stop! lol

It was at that point that my compatriots high fived each other across me and gave themselves a check plus on the evening. Eventually we got up and had pie and berries so it was successful although I was sooooo tired afterwards.

Anway back to the beginning. The plan was for me to go to the girl's house (a fellow sub) and she was gonna make dinner then she and the guy would torture me for the evening :)

Well I ended up eating dinner with my ankles tied to the chair. We ate made small random chit chat and he came up behind me with this leather thing and held it around my neck while the two of them started running the fingers up and down my arms which made me shiver uncontrollably. They spent some time doing that and raising my arms above my head so they had better access to my arms/side. I got....not floaty exactly but very relaxed and sleepylike.

At some point he wrapped another piece of rope around her neck like a collar then wrapped one around me so they could do the same thing with me standing upright. It was kind of difficult to walk/stand still lol. I believe that is when my shirt came off.

Eventually I got pushed down on my knees and my bra was removed (for easier access) and got played with that way until I was laid flat on my back and tied in a "T" shape to the sofa/clothing rack. That actually didn't last too long as I pulled the clothing rack over in my twitching. Around then my skirt came off leaving me with underwear and leggings.

So they continued touching and teasing and I continued squirming. Then they discovered that pinching and biting my nipples is a good way to get me moaning (I could have told them that but of course I couldn't) and they used that pretty liberally. I did get turned on my stomach and paddled/flogged a little on my back/ass (I've been hit WAY harder but I have no problem with him not going full throttle on me) and a little bit of breast flogging which was kind of....meh? Again I've had harder interactions. Oh AND I got nipple clamps put on me and had to hold the chain in my mouth (which was only semi successful) which I kind of liked. ^^

My ankles were untied at one point because I squirmed so much that I was becoming a harder target to get at. They ended up both sitting on me because I just kept squirming out of reach (I swear it was instinctive). He also used a combination of biting/pinching my nipples and breathplay which was kind of interesting.

I guess we had been playing for a while at that point and my wrists were getting sore so I got untied hauled over to the couch and had my arms bound behind me while they positioned themselves on either side of me. Silly me I thought they were done but they just couldn't resist making me whimper with some more nipple play while I was arm bound and helpless.

At some point they stopped for good and my wrists then arms were un bound and we just kind of sat there and cuddled (for lack of a better word) and I giggled.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself but was sooooo tired after :)

He's coming over tomorrow night to torture me some more......crack crack crack goes the good girl candy coating.... :D

I don't know.....

So my kinky world has had some interesting interactions.

Started playing online again with a previous acquaintance. Not sure how I feel about it. I like it but...

A) he pushes pretty hard
B) he just jumped right in to the using all my toys on me
C) he jumped right in to calling the possessive and making rules about things (which I follow)
D) we play on cam but he sees me and I don't see him
E) he never says whether he enjoys it or not

So IDK how I feel about the whole thing....

Then there is the guy from MDS who also attends the munch and with whom I talk online as well. He has expressed his interest in me more than once and has invited me to a couple of events in the city. He has called me "delicious" and talked about tying me up, but I just don't feel it. He is a nice enough guy but I don't think it is going to happen, which makes me feel guilty cause I DO NOT want to lead him on but I want to be kind at the same time....it's tricky.

And tomorrow is my playdate (for which I got lots of shit tonight I might add) which I am somewhat nervous about but also excited and kind of....guilty for being excited maybe....or uncomfortable because I am gonna push myself with this and what if I like it and even more what if I don't????

:/

TMI!

TMI Tuesday: August 9, 2011
by TMI Tuesday blog



Her: I saw you flirting with her. Cheater!
Him: It’s not cheating if we don’t have intercourse.

1. You have been separated from your significant other for six months. An attractive, attentive neighbor has paid you flattering attention. It is obvious he/she wishes to take the relationship further. Do you:
a. Dismiss him/her, you’re in a committed relationship.
b. Continue to flirt, but go no further.
c. Fantasize about him/her, but take care of your sexual needs solo.
d. Let the affair become physical.

I don't know that if I had been separated for 6 months I wouldn't consider the relationship over....

2. A male co-worker whom you have heard is great in bed and very well endowed has been flirting with you a lot. He obviously wishes to start a relationship. Do you:
(This question is for women AND men).
a. Make it clear to him you’re not interested.
b. Flirt with him but go no further
c. Mentally undress him and wonder what he’d be like in bed.
d. Let the relationship become sexual.

I don't believe in sex with co-workers cause that is way too drama-y. Of course it happens all the time so....

3. Your significant other is impotent most of the time, showing little interest in you and little interest in being sexual. Do you:
a. Resign yourself to no sex.
b. Satisfy your needs with masturbation
c. Find someone who can satisfy you sexually but remain with your significant other
d. Leave him or her

e. talk to him/her, get counseling, decide what the underlying problem is if possible then procede from there

4. The last time you and your mate had sex, were you:
a. Concentrating mostly on him/her, and you didn’t even orgasm
b. Thinking about your pleasure and theirs.
c. Concentrating mainly on your own pleasure.
d. Used his/her body as a tool to reach your own orgasm.

5. What kind of partner do you prefer while making love or having sex?
a. Tender, loving, slow and sweeet
b. I don’t care, just do me; it’s been a while
c. Tough, take-charge, I like it a little rough
d. Any lovin’ is good lovin’

Too tired to do the bonus ones!

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

BAZINGA!

Wow just crazy omgness of a day/night!

I accepted a job 2.5hrs away from my current location which would negate my being able to attend the current munch with the current people therein.

I told some of them at the munch this evening and was told now I have to make the last month of being in town especially kinky. Well of course I laughed it off. Well I ended up sitting/chatting with a small group of people, 2 of whom I have chatted with at the munches/online/on fet for a bit now and 1 who i met through the other site I am on who happens to live in the area. Anyhow, the upshot was that I got tickled a little and teased a little. Near the end of the night the one guy pulled out a length of silk cord that he had in his pocket and tied my wrist. He kind of played with it for the rest of the time. At one point he left to wash his hands and tied my wrist to the chair I was sitting in! It was fun.

So I get home and start talking to the girl from this evening who wanted to know if she should "encourage a rerun" and I said yes so she is arranging a dinner/play date for next week with her and the wrist tier! So I said yes and we discussed the particulars (kink wise) so yeah next week I am going to have dinner at her place with her and the wrist man and have some play times......EEP!!! :D

So while I am talking to her I am talking to the other guy that was at the munch (from the other site) who has indicated his interest in me a couple of times and, apparently now that I am a limited commodity, has upped his ante and wants to get together to tie me up! OMG so I said ok. Again, particulars were discussed, I think we will end up at my place or maybe my cousin's since I don't really feel comfortable going to the guy's place...

AND while I am talking to them I am talking to the girl my group of friends "adopted" she mentions that the sexytime plans that she and her essentially-fiance made for the upcoming weekend had to be cancelled. :( And she also mentioned that "....that [essentially fiance] thinks you're cute so there's potential of talking him into playtime for both of us at some point"

HOLY CRAP 2 play dates and the possibility of a third with a new friend of mine!!!! My head exploded a touch tonight. It was pretty great!!

TMI Time!

TMI Tuesday: August 2, 2011
by TMI Tuesday blog
In the Summertime



1. What is your favorite summer clothing item or outfit?

Yoga pants, T-shirt, sports bra, Birkenstock sandals. Comfy for lounging and running errands :) Also Birkenstock makes AMAZING SHOES!! I love them to death! I would marry them if I could.

2. Did you or will you take a summer vacation? If yes, where did you go?

My summer vacation was moving into a new apartment. So....that is all I got :)

3. What is your ideal weekend away (e.g. city, beach or wilderness)?

Definitely somewhere with a beach! I loooooove the beach, it is so amazingly relaxing to just sit in the sands or bob in the water underneath the sunshine :D

4. What would you pack for a naughty weekend?

Probably my cute underwear, I would contemplate bringing my crop, but would never bring it on a plane!

5. What item(s) do you never unpack, never take out of the luggage from trip to trip?

I have an "overnight" case that has a travel toothbrush and travel size contact lens stuff that is always packed for random trips and overnight excursions ;)

Bonus: Last vacation sex… Tell us what happened

Florida with V. Lots and lots of sex.

————-

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

The Quiz.....

Experimentation is a great place to be. Open-mindedness when it comes to sexuality can open doors and allow you to discover things that you didn't think you would find engaging. Having such a curious attitude can help you learn more about your own sexual nature as well as the nature of others.

Experimental 86%
Submissive 82%
Masochist 75%
Bondage 71%
Degradation Lover 61%
Switch 57%
Sadist 43%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur 32%
Dominant 29%
Vanilla 21%

BDSM Inclination Quiz.

I've taken this quiz a couple of times and it keeps popping up with "experimental." I kind of agree with this as I haven't done enough to really solidify my position (although I am not sure that there is not a statistically significant difference between the Experimental and Submissive scores). I always think back to my "Openness" score on the NEO when things like this come up (FYI Openness if one the "Big 5" personality factors in psychology). I scored pretty high on openness and while I am by no means good at making fast decisions (insert pondering joke here) I am pretty liberal in my thinking overall. It would be interesting to create a valid and reliable measure that essentially answers the question of "what flavor are you?" but alas that would take a lot of time and use resources that I do not currently have. Until then, this is what we have. :)