Maybe...IDK....I'm losing myself

I don't know where to begin at all what so ever.

V
ummm, is coming to my state/area on Thursday for 10 days, wants to see me I think? It is kind of hard to tell. "Fought" with him about, about, us/him/me? Basically told him that the only reason he wants to see me is to fuck me. He said I was making him out to be the bad guy. I tried to explain my position, he said nothing constructive/new/from his own point of view (typical) and I was left wondering if it is possible to break one's own heart? I don't know what I am going to do but all my sources are saying "no, avoid him don't connect with him, don't sleep with him" which I know are the right choices....

Online
K and I and her partner R (online and soon irl) hung out (if you can call it that online) and chatted. Then one of R's good friends, irl and online, A joined us and I didn't really think anything of it until R formally introduced K to him as his partner and there was crying on her part and smiling on mine and things were good. THEN R started talking about how he thinks that A would be a good match for me and that he liked me and how he was a good guy.....and then I hid from the webcam (because if it is just K and R I'll go on webcam, I trust them, and I don't flash them or anything so it is good) and this was after A had said I was cute (which always embarasses me cause I am very bad at accepting compliments). R basically said that K and I were already like sisters so he felt towards me the protectiveness and whatnot that he extends to others in his pack. So I guess the short version is that I am being accepted by these folks online, in this world that I feel is so separate from my real life that I don't know if I want to fall in any deeper. [Add cliche Alice in Wonderland rabbit hole reference here.]

IRL
I am going to the munch tomorrow. I am going to sign up to go to the play party on my birthday. A guy from MDS who lives in Chicago says he might show up tomorrow night.

I feel like I am being stretched in a thousand directions and I'm losing myself. I am almost longing for the school season to begin if only to give myself something to hold onto and center myself. God I hope I don't have a schizophrenic break. That would be really crappy timing....