BAZINGA!

Wow just crazy omgness of a day/night!

I accepted a job 2.5hrs away from my current location which would negate my being able to attend the current munch with the current people therein.

I told some of them at the munch this evening and was told now I have to make the last month of being in town especially kinky. Well of course I laughed it off. Well I ended up sitting/chatting with a small group of people, 2 of whom I have chatted with at the munches/online/on fet for a bit now and 1 who i met through the other site I am on who happens to live in the area. Anyhow, the upshot was that I got tickled a little and teased a little. Near the end of the night the one guy pulled out a length of silk cord that he had in his pocket and tied my wrist. He kind of played with it for the rest of the time. At one point he left to wash his hands and tied my wrist to the chair I was sitting in! It was fun.

So I get home and start talking to the girl from this evening who wanted to know if she should "encourage a rerun" and I said yes so she is arranging a dinner/play date for next week with her and the wrist tier! So I said yes and we discussed the particulars (kink wise) so yeah next week I am going to have dinner at her place with her and the wrist man and have some play times......EEP!!! :D

So while I am talking to her I am talking to the other guy that was at the munch (from the other site) who has indicated his interest in me a couple of times and, apparently now that I am a limited commodity, has upped his ante and wants to get together to tie me up! OMG so I said ok. Again, particulars were discussed, I think we will end up at my place or maybe my cousin's since I don't really feel comfortable going to the guy's place...

AND while I am talking to them I am talking to the girl my group of friends "adopted" she mentions that the sexytime plans that she and her essentially-fiance made for the upcoming weekend had to be cancelled. :( And she also mentioned that "....that [essentially fiance] thinks you're cute so there's potential of talking him into playtime for both of us at some point"

HOLY CRAP 2 play dates and the possibility of a third with a new friend of mine!!!! My head exploded a touch tonight. It was pretty great!!

Black Bile

So I feel kind of like a neurotic ass tonight. I sent the organizer of the play party a list of questions and even though at the time I figured they were somewhat sane if not adequate representations of my thoughts/feelings when I read the reply (which was well thought out and helpful) I felt like my questions made me sound like a neurotic uptight prude of doom (which I kind of am). I just overthink things to the extreme and give myself anxiety. What can I do to stop thinking???

V has been on my mind tonight, mostly cause we haven't talked in....a week? more? I don't even know, but when I see him online, my stomach still gives a lurch and I want to talk to him and say stupid shit to him that I don't even mean cause I am tired and lonely and a little bit sad. It would have been so much easier if he had just been in the same state as me. Then we could....but it's no use speculating on what we could have because the way things worked is that we don't and we aren't and probably will never be.

I just don't know right now. I feel like just running away from the whole "relationship" aspect of the trifecta, not that the career aspect is going any better. I have a phone interview for a place 3 hours south of here. I hope that they want to pay me crap cause I am not moving 3 hours south when I just started getting settled here.

Part of this is just that I am tired and when I get tired I get melancholy. One of my burdens to bear:

• melancholy


• type A


• goody-two shoes complex


• lustful


• planner


• loud


• serious


• overthinker


• dreamer


• romantic
  

But we all have them. It isn't only myself, for example, that is having relationship issues. One of my good friends just ended things with the guy she has been seeing (who is stationed in Italy of all places) for lots of reasons and my cousin is having similar issues that I have/had with V and his girl lives only 1 hr away from him!

I guess it is just one of those days where things feel sad...

Squee!!

Played with V for like 2 seconds via Skype. Made me ridiculously happy. I am not smart lol.

Also made a deposit for an apt for me, myself, and I. :D

Death to the Trifecta!!

Trifecta

Housing, Career, Relationships

My trifecta is currently being fucked (and not in a good way).

Housing:
- I live at home with my mother, grandfather and dog
- the house is very messy
- although my mother tries to give me as much space as she can it just isn't enough
- my almost-roommate cancelled on me
- an apt in my neighborhood costs about 1/2 a month's salary at the rate I am going
- my mother has offered to subsidize me by giving me extra money so I can afford rent, I may end up taking her up on that offer, although it pains me to do so!

Career:
- I am totally burnt out at my current job
- I have come to resent the children immensely, which isn't good if you are stuck in a building with them all day
- I don't make enough money (see Housing)
- I am bored
- I am underemployed
- I am not in my field
- Jobs in my field have been incredibly hard to get, even though I have been applying like a mad person since I graduated 2 years ago
- I am wondering if I need to look ouside of my field in order become financially stable

Relationship:
- I would be dating V if we lived in the same state
- I am playing with CM
- IRL there is no one
- I want someone to cuddle with, a kinky guy my age that lives in my state