Foreign Territory

So J and I had a really good talk last night about potentially playing with a couple of friends in the local community.  I brought up that I might be interested in getting beaten by the guy as I had seen his technique at the Xmas party and was impressed.  I know J had talked to the girl over a dating site before they knew each other through the local scene.  We talked through what I wanted, he wanted, and our limits for the other person.

We didn't come to any big conclusions and he shared a great line (which I have promptly forgotten) to tell them if they proposition us that essentially says we are stil discussing the possibility of events ocurring.  We are going to go to a round table discussion on poly in February (I think the other couple is going to be there as well) so maybe we will get more...information or something through that. 

As I have told him, I've never had to discuss this kind of situation with anyone and I am not sure how to approach it or even think about.  And of course I have ridiculous fears of abandonment etc etc.  I already have inferiority issues around my orgasm issues (which is funny because J has inferiority issues about beating me with implements!) and J mentioned that he is used to being with partners who orgasm a lot and then he finishes after they have been satisfied.  Well I do not work that way and while he says that it is not a...frustration issue it is a situation he is not used to.  I am much more familiar with the guy getting off (perhaps making a perfunctory to get me off) but then rolling over and cuddling and being done with it. 

So basically we are both in foreign territory and trying to navigate it successfully.