So I played with CM last night. It was full-out playing in that he gave me online instructions and I followed them IRL. It was pretty basic play, get naked, tease yourself with your toy, ask permission to cum, but it was really fulfilling. It wasn't necessarily the climaxing that made it so fulfilling, but the attention, the feeling desired, the talking afterwards.
I am a sucker for pet names and CM uses them liberally, love, sexi etc. Sometimes when I think of V he's calling me 'pet', not because I want to do pet play, but because it't another label that shows that he has control of me, that I would be his. Normally I would be very hesitant to respond to someone who uses pet names in the first or even the second conversation, but CM seems to exude this calm, strong, dom-y aura and it feels ok. I also know that I don't have to worry about meeting him IRL and that any play we do is a mutually enjoyable fantasy.
I still feel some hesitation to let myself form relationships online, I know what happens when you end up emotionally involved, but maybe if you go into it assuming that you will get emotionally involved and that you put those limits in place early on, then when you do end up feeling emotionally attached you are prepared for it.
I'd like to play with CM again. He seems patient and willing to go slowly and I think he could teach me things about myself and what I like and what I want and how to go about getting that safely and happily.
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